....where the odd boy next door talks about this benevelent force in the Universe...and how the world is so beautiful that he hurts. I very much understand that feeling. Somedays I am in a sort of ecstasy...which I don't know is a kundalini awakening...a closer connection to my christ self or what. Ecstasy comes upon me at times and I just want to express it somehow...yet it seems I cannot and still fit in with normal society. I guess I don't have "perfect love" just yet as it does cast out all fear and I still have the fear that I will be hurt or thought of as too odd for all of society to accept. Fear? or instinct? We are still living with our main consciousness in this material realm and their are certain dimensional laws. Hmmm....or maybe I just think there is. Heh..this is what it is like to be me at times. I'm trying to stop putting myself down for being me. This is a new thing...standing up for ALL of me...not just the acceptable parts...or what I deem acceptable to others. There is some great beauty and strength in getting older.
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